


I'm Alive

by MomoMoon115



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt, Heartbreak, M/M, reverb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 07:24:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6972934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MomoMoon115/pseuds/MomoMoon115
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hartley struggles to deal with Francisco's death at the hands of Zoom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Alive

Hartley felt the moment that Francisco’s heart had stopped. He felt his last breaths, heard his last thoughts, felt his cold lips brush against his as he used his powers, and cried as his last thoughts filled his head. A tearful apology that he wouldn’t be back home for dinner that night. Hartley had caved in on himself, so the dinner wasn’t ever finished. He’d almost burnt the house down when he’d realized the stove was still on and Francisco's favorite Spanish rice recipe had burnt in the pot. It took Hartley a few days to just get himself out of the cold bed he used to share with him. The first thing he did was flip and take down all their pictures together. He went to CCPD, identified the body, and took it with him. Francisco’s parents had just left him there to rot. He buried him on the 4th day. He dug Francisco’s plot, set him in a coffin, and lowered him down with some help from the man in the church that’d felt sorry for him.  When it came to throwing that dirt back into the hole, Hartley broke down at the side of the tombstone, little more than a crude carving that Hartley did his best to carve in the short amount of time he had.

He grabbed at the grass with clenched hands, feeling the sharp stone dig under his nails and into his palms. He couldn’t do this by himself. Francisco had always been there. Ever since they were children, he’d been there He was just trying to keep him safe. This Reverb that everyone had known, wasn’t Francisco Ramon. It wasn’t, will not, nor will it ever be Francisco Ramon. Francisco was his everything and now he was gone! Hartley threw a patch of grass at the coffin with an angry, hoarse yell. 

“I told you! I told you to stop!” Hartley’s voice broke as he felt his heart clench. “You didn’t need to protect me.” 

Hartley sobbed loudly as he brought his knees up to his chest. He sat there sobbing for a good thirty minutes before he started scooping dirt into the hole with his hands. It took him another two hours, but he’d successfully buried Francisco with his hands. He stared at the dirt, tears falling. He heard Francisco’s last thoughts enter his mind once more before he picked up his bag and turned to leave. He walked home, mud and dirt covered his body, his eyes were red and tear tracks were dried on his face, but he didn’t care.  He didn’t have anyone he needed to impress anymore. 

He took a shower as soon as he walked into the door, wrapped himself up in Francisco’s favorite over-sized pop culture shirt. It’d made Hartley’s eyes water, but he’d held the tears back. He sat on the bed, picked up the remote, and turned on the TV. Francisco had been playing video games the last time the TV was on, so the screen was blank.It wasn’t until an hour later that he realized that he’d been staring into the black TV screen the whole time. He turned off the TV deciding just to go to sleep. Instead. He laid in his bed, not bothering to pull the covers over himself. He didn’t take off the light either. The shadows that played on the wall at night had only served to scare Hartley. He needed the light on now when he slept. He breathed deeply, Francisco’s lingering scent filling his lungs. He sighed, almost content before remembering that Francisco wouldn’t ever be coming back. He fell asleep, crying once more. 

It’d been months since Francisco died and Hartley still saw something that reminded him of his bright smile and his light voice every where he went. It’d gotten easier. He’d started going to therapy three times a week. When he wasn’t at home he sat for hours at Francisco’s grave. His parents had understood and were using their money to pay for his needs until he got back on his feet which is why he was walking into STAR Labs today to meet Harrison Wells and apply for the position he’d been offering. He walked in greeting the person at the front desk with a small, sad smile. She told him to wait. Hartley sat in the waiting room, psyching himself up. It’d do no good to be sad. Francisco wouldn’t want him to be sad while applying for his dream job. H stood up and greeted Harrison with a bright smile, shocking himself. 

Harrison raised an eyebrow, but motioned for him to follow him into a room. Hartley followed, frowning as Harrison closed the door. 

“Hartley Rathaway.” 

Hartley looked at him in confusion. “You know my name.” 

Harrison smiled and nodded. “I’m quite familiar with your work on sound and it’s vibrations.” 

Hartley opened his mouth, but paused. Vibrations. It reminded him of Francisco. His eyes widened and he closed his mouth, flushing. He moved to apologize, but Harrison stopped him. 

“Don’t worry about it. I heard you lost your husband recently. It must be difficult for you.” 

Hartley opted for a nod rather than replying. 

“Well, I’ll just cut to the chase. You’re now an employee of STAR Labs. I’ll get all the paperwork done, and you should be able to start in a few weeks.” Harrison grinne. He stood up and ushered Hartley out before Hartley could even get a word in. 

It felt like one huge blur by the time he was sitting in his therapist's office later that day. They’d been talking about ways to help him go on with his life and cope without having Francisco there anymore. Hartley had tried to say that it was four months he should be over it already, but the therapist just smiled and encouraged Hartley to keep talking. That he’d get over Francisco if he wanted to and when he was ready. 

A month later, he was standing in the middle of a frantic STAR Labs as the city was being destroyed. He’d tried to look for Harrison but he was nowhere to be found. He decided to make a run for it like everyone else, but never made it out of STAR Labs. The building had collapsed while he was still inside. He groaned in pain as the beams and nails dug into him painfully. His body was numb and he felt his blood pooling around him as his clothes soaked it up. He looked around, he’d been the only one in that particular room. He would be dying alone. He’d hoped that he would be the one to die before Francisco. Francisco was always the stronger one and not just because of his powers. Hartley always had felt like Francisco wouldn’t have suffered as much as Hartley had. Francisco would have grieved him and lived his life. Hartley is still sitting here thinking of what ifs with Francisco. It was always that Hartley needed Francisco not Francisco needed Hartley. It’d hurt Hartley when he’d realized it, no matter how many times Francisco denied it. Deep down, he had to know it was true. He sighed as he felt his body grow cold. It wasn’t really how he wanted to die, but at least he’d be with his lover, husband, and best friend. At least he’d join Francisco soon, wherever he was.         

Hartley blinked his eyes open. His body ached, but he didn’t seem to be hurt all that much. He stared down at himself in confusion. He could have sworn his was in the middle of STAR Las, buried underneath rubble. He should have died. He was sure of it. He slowly climbed out of bed, still feeling the pang as he smelt Francisco’s scent. He’d taken to spritzing their sheets with his cologne before he left the house. He stood up, throat dry, as he made his way to the bathroom. He showered and brushed his teeth, taking about an hour, not wanting to face the reality that he was still alive and Francisco was still gone. He slowly made his way down the stairs, intending to just have some coffee for breakfast, but stopped. 

The floor was a mess. Francisco's shirt, sweater, and shoes littered the floor. The thing was, Hartley hadn’t touched any of Francisco’s going out clothes. He’d only occasionally borrowed his PJs when he really missed him. He heard a clang and hobbled his way into the kitchen. He stepped inside and couldn’t believe his eyes. 

“Cisquito,” he breathed in disbelief.  

Francisco turned to him with a frown. “No! I wanted to surprise you with breakfast! You weren’t supposed to be up yet!” 

Hartley blinked. This had to be a dream. Francisco was dead. He was dead. He buried him himself. He felt his eyes water and his breath catch in his throat as Francisco gave him a soft smile. Hartley shook his head. The person standing in front of him had to be some kind of impostor, a zombie, anything but his husband. 

“You were dead.” Hartley said breathlessly.  

Francisco walked up to him, frowning as he lifted a hand to caress Hartley’s cheek. Hartley moved into it as if Francisco had never left him. 

“I’m here. I’m sorry I was gone for so long. I know it must have hurt you. Could you ever forgive me?”

Hartley let the tears fall as he nodded. He squeezed Francisco tight, whispering ‘I love you’s’ over and over.   
“I’m alive, Hart.” he said as he pulled Hartley into a soft kiss. 


End file.
